The pandemic made me realize the selfishness of people. There were a lot of double standards, especially for teachers. My first year of teaching was 2020-21, and our school district decided that teachers would remain in-person, and would have A and B day students. We would not be required to synchronously with the students who had virtual days (usually their expected tasks would be to finish the independent work we went over the day before). I can remember teachers getting in trouble for traveling over breaks, but also being told by our governor at the time, that we were lazy for asking for a virtual options DESPITE many students and teachers losing family members to COVID. So it was perfectly fine for us to stay working in person, but how dare we go anywhere outside of school, right? We had "thrown the towel in" and given up on our students for asking to prioritize our health. Whatever. Fuck that bitch Gina. The pandemic also made me realize that I am at core, an introvert. I kind of loved that I didn't have to make up an excuse not to hang-out with people.
Another thing that Turkle writes about is empathy, I used to consider myself an empathetic person, but technology has resulted in me wanting to be closed off from connection. Instead of waiting until the next time I hangout with someone to listen to their stories, I never know when the text I have received is going to be a long-winded paragraph about the trauma someone has gone through. I do not have the luxury of mentally preparing myself for these conversations, and instead feel as though I MUST respond on the fly, or I am a bad friend. If I leave someone on read for too long while I try to prepare an eloquent, caring, response, I will be met with an angry message asking why I am ignoring them, or some passive aggressive remark about how my lack of instant response shows them how they know who they can really count on now.
Thank you, Heather, for opening up about feeling overwhelmed by constantly being "plugged in." I feel as though society and our jobs have created expectations where we always need to be available to respond. It has created some underlying anxiety for me where I have FOMO (fear of missing out) and also just fear of missing something important such as a work memo or deadline. Thus, I carry my phone everywhere I go, checking my emails and texts several times each hour just to make sure that I have responded to everything. God forbid I miss something. I agree with your testament that this can be draining and it becomes really hard for our brains to ever slow down... Of course, this was all only exacerbated by the pandemic.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your personal story. I promise you are not alone in the feeling of being overwhelmed. I have had personal text messages or voicemails just sitting for days (or weeks?) before I had the motivation and energy to respond. And parents/students expecting immediate responses can be daunting. I really appreciate your openness, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you were so overwhelm by all that chatter. I am glad that you are setting boundaries for your self in regards to the electronic noise that you received. Since the end of the pandemic we are all moving forward from the insight learned from the experience by improving our lives.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! I remember finding it so hard distinguish between work and home during the pandemic. Professional responsibilities spilled into personal time and vice versa. It might take time and practice to find the right balance and be comfortable creating new boundaries.
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